The Moose Who Couldn’t Snooze

"Alrighty, little campers, snuggle into your sleeping bags and get your marshmallows good and gooey, because it’s time for more critter campfire stories! And this one’s a doozy—er, we mean a snoozy, starring our favorite antlered insomniac: Morty the Moose.

Now, Morty was a majestic moose, no doubt. Towering antlers, velvety snout, hooves that clicked like jazz shoes on frozen leaves. But despite his forest fame, Morty had a problem—he couldn’t catch a wink of sleep. Not a nap, not a doze, not even a single moose-minute of shut-eye.

Every night, the forest would fall silent. The crickets would chirp lullabies. The raccoons would tuck in with their bedtime snacks. The owls would start their hoots of approval. But Morty? He’d be wide-eyed and hoof-tapping, muttering, “I’ve got a moose-ery of a sleep schedule.”

He tried everything. Counting sheep. Counting pinecones. Even counting how many squirrels could fit in one tree (answer: 42, but it got loud). But nothing worked. He even tried hot cocoa, but it just made him need to go-go.

One night, Morty trudged to his favorite log by the river, bags under his eyes bigger than a beaver’s dam. “I’m one sleepless night away from turning into a cranky caribou,” he mumbled.

Just then, his friend Beatrice the Beaver popped up from the water, toothbrush in paw. “You okay, Morty? You look...well, antlerly exhausted.”

Morty sighed. “I’ve got a serious case of the moose-insomnia. My bed’s cold, my hooves are chilly, and I swear my pine needle pillow is plotting against me.”

Beatrice blinked. “Wait. You’re sleeping without slippers?!”

Morty looked confused. “Slippers? You mean those fluffy foot-snuggles the bears wear at hibernation parties?”

Beatrice nodded. “Exactly! Cozy toes = dozy nose. That’s Sleepytime Science 101.”

Determined to save his snooze, Beatrice paddled off and came back with the fluffiest, warmest, most antler-appropriate pair of slippers Morty had ever seen. They were lined with forest fleece, stitched with love (and possibly porcupine quills), and had little acorn patterns on the soles.

Morty slipped them on. And sweet sasquatch, were they heavenly.

Suddenly, a breeze rustled the trees. The stars twinkled a little softer. A snore escaped Morty’s mouth before he even found a log to lean on.

That’s right, campers. He fell asleep standing up.

The forest cheered. Birds tweeted lullabies. Deer tiptoed in applause. Even the grumpy badger cracked a smile (briefly, don’t push it). Morty the Moose had finally joined dreamland.

From that night on, Morty became a slipper moose-t-have advocate. He started a forest-wide campaign called “Snooze With Your Hooves” and passed out slippers to every critter in the clearing. Cozy feet became the talk of the trees.

And Morty? He now sleeps 14 hours a night, dreams of floating marshmallows, and wakes up only to fluff his tail and admire his slippers.

So if you ever find yourself tossing and turning, just remember: Don’t let your tootsies go frost-bitten—get yourself some LazyOne Moose Critter Slippers and hoof it to dreamland!